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Why gratitude beats suffering and whining

By Hillary Hutchinson / November 2, 2015

Gratitude beats suffering and whining every time. Why? Because everyone suffers at times. It is not possible to live a human life without suffering. So practicing gratitude for what you do have is an important way to maintain sanity when the world appears to have gone mad.

I have to keep reminding myself of this as I live in the part of the world that just suffered a “1,000 year flood” (meaning it will only once every 1,000 years). In case you somehow missed it, what happened was this: Rainfall amounts involving tropical moisture from Hurricane Joaquin combined in coastal areas with exceptionally high “king” tides peaking at 8.29 feet. Social media posts show streets turned into shallow rivers in downtown Charleston, SC. It was 2 weeks after the flooding before Interstate 95 was completely reopened.

The epicenter of this horrendous event is where I live, experiencing 27 inches of rain in the space of 24 hours. The sky remained black as night throughout this time, as the rain literally poured down in sheets. Small creeks became deadly torrents. Dams were breached all over the state. We couldn’t do anything more than watch the inexorable rise of the water creeping up into the neighborhoods in a slow-motion disaster. 17 lives, 300,000 cars (at least), and as yet undetermined number of houses, were lost forever. Current reports indicate 1,400 houses suffered significant damage over $10,000, and more than 30,000 houses had damage under $10,000.

So what can we be grateful for in such a mess? My husband and I were some of the lucky ones: although the creek behind our home rose higher and higher, it never actually flowed into the yard or up to the house. Instead the water flowed from the creek out through the marshes to the river and then the ocean in the way that nature intended the natural hydraulics of the low country to operate. And the rain did finally come to an end.

It’s important to choose to give thanks, especially in the midst of the difficult circumstances I have just described. If you give into suffering and start whining about all the bad things that have happened, you an give into a destructive mental pathway that can lead to bitterness. Gratitude changes your mindset by letting you notice what things are actually working in your life. One way to do this is to keep a gratitude journal, but if you choose this method, I recommend that not only do you give thanks for good things that have happened to you, you start to write down what action you took to make good things happen.

Gratitude also leads to recognizing solutions because you move from “this is a problem and I want to whine about it” to “there must be a solution to my problem and a different way to do this.” You start moving from thinking of obstacles to simply viewing your circumstances as challenges. Think about what triggers complaining for you. Then write down those triggers as they pop up during the day. Try brainstorming possible solutions at then end of the day. Or even keep this list for a whole week, and see which items fall away after a few days, then brainstorm solutions to the crazy-making items that remain. You may be surprised at how different your suffering looks from this perspective.

Finally, gratitude as an attitude is contagious, just like smiling. Other people respond to your positive attitude and good quality energy. The best way to do this is to watch your language, and nip any whining or negative words in the bud. This will also collaterally increase your self-confidence.

Here are just a few of the many things we have to be grateful for in South Carolina:

Neighbors helped neighbors all over the state. People delivered potable water to those where sewage lines had been broken. Private kayaks, canoes and small flat-bottomed boats of every description were pressed into service to rescue people from their flooded houses.
The state Transportation Department says crews spent about 4,000 man hours repairing bridge spans while divers also checked on the repairs.
The Salvation Army and Red Cross report a combined total 69,295 meals served to disaster survivors.

For a complete list of ways to give that will create an enormous amount of gratitude from someone else, visit scemd.org. And meanwhile, be grateful you live in a part of the world that is not dealing with the aftermath of a 1,000 year flood.