David Krueger, MD is the author of 16 books. He mentors executives, entrepreneurs, and authors. In the August 2009 issue of Coaching Compass, he writes about why change is so difficult for us, and what questions we must ask ourselves in order to change.
Questions to ask yourself
Change may be difficult, but it begins with the easy recognition that you are the author of your own life story. Insight, understanding, and theory do not create change. New theories alone will not drive old lived experiences into extinction. Lasting change requires new lived experiences to replace old experiences – you invested a lot of years in the old system, and you will have to practice the new stuff as hard as you practiced the old stuff.
4 BASIC TESTS FOR CHANGE
1. What do you want to change?
2. What do you want to outgrow?
3. What do you want to avoid?
4. What do you want to enhance?
Reruns
People repeat behavior, even that which doesn’t work, because it offers security and familiarity. Doing the same thing results in a known outcome; predictability masquerades as effectiveness. When you move beyond a familiar pattern, you may experience anxiety.
Repetition reinstates the security of the familiar, even if the repetition is limiting or frustrating. By opting for repetition, people sabotage invention and imprison creativity. Stuck behavior has stuck consequences. Staying in a rut long enough begins to seem like fate. That outlook can lead to despair. The ultimate question to ask yourself about fixed beliefs or “stuckness” is: Does it work?
With regard to fixed beliefs, in my role as Coach Hillary, I would add one more question to David Krueger’s insightful words: “Does it work for the people around you that you care about?”
Tags: change, stuck, why change is hard
