Letting go when you feel out of control is counter-intuitive, isn’t it?
Dennis Harper 4299458450_42a30d8863_n.jpg
In general, we humans have a tendency to hang on harder and longer when we feel ourselves spinning wildly around. But sometimes, the best thing to do is just let go.
I don’t know how many of you got caught in the polar vortex over the holiday season. I heard one commentator describe the amazing snowstorm and cold in the Northeastern United States as “a drunken polar bear that just sat down on the front porch and refused to leave.” That’s certainly what it felt like from my perspective.
I planned a trip to visit a brother in northern Germany with a departure date of Thursday morning in order to give myself enough time to get over jet lag, unpack and generally relax before meeting with my first client of the new year at 9:00 AM on Monday.
All went smoothly in the trip from Beilefeld to Frankfurt and connecting on to Philadelphia. I was even sitting on the airplane on the tarmac at about 4:00 PM on the 2nd of January, congratulating myself on beating the big storm. But it was not to be. As I sat there waiting for the plane to take off, huge white flakes began to fall, and within 15 minutes there was about an inch accumulation on the wings.
To no one’s surprise, the pilot announced we would have to get in line for de-icing. Even then, it did not seem like too big a deal: we would simply be slightly delayed. But then we waited and waited…and waited…until finally the big machine came around pouring fluid on the wings, and we watched the ice melt away, taxiing around on the tarmac and getting back in line for takeoff. And still the snow came down. And down. And down. Finally, the pilot came on the loudspeaker system and announced that after about four hours on the tarmac idling, we were running out of fuel. Furthermore, the crew was beginning to time-out on how long they were able to work. Then he sighed and said, “I’m sorry folks, but it looks like we are going to have to take you back to the gate…however, at the present time, we do not have a gate.” Meaning, “by the time we get you all unloaded, you will be lucky to locate an empty hotel room,” though I was indeed fortunate enough to get one with a little help from my local friends.
For those of you that travel, you know the drill: there is no redundancy in the system, and once the system begins to fail, there is a true domino effect. The planes pile up, and the next plane is full before you know it, then it gets cancelled and now two planes worth of people are trying to get on the third plane out, etc., etc. You have to call and reserve your seat on the next flight and usually the next available flight is 24 hours later.
This is what happened to me, until finally on the fourth day, after once again going through security, waiting over two hours at the gate, and finally being told again that the flight was canceled, I threw up my hands in despair and gave up all hope of flying out of Philadelphia. I admit I did not want to drive in the snow and ice down I-95, the highway where my family was involved in an accident that killed my husband in 1997.
What was left when I gave up? A different option: Take an overnight train to Charleston! And so I did, sleeping fitfully but arriving at 6:30 AM, in time to make that 9:00 AM appointment. I don’t know that I was at my absolute best that day, but neither was I at my worst. Giving up on the plane was the best thing I could have done…and had I tried to get on the flight, I might have actually been stuck an additional three days, as a brand new storm headed into the area.
So, what’s the lesson here? If you can give up on the things you cannot control, you just might find you can control something else. How else might you apply this lesson to your life, whatever you are doing now?
Tags: out of control
