Five questions to help you focus on what really matters

focus on what really matters

Create time and space to listen to your heart and soul. Then you’ll know what matters most. ~ Author unknown

There are thousands of posts and articles written about how to make strategic decisions and create focus, but just how do you get at the foundational piece, knowing what really matters? Is what really matters just about being focused on a particular outcome? Or is this something deeper, perhaps even related to ideas about a calling? Do you get to decide what really matters, or does someone else? Once you’ve figured this out, use the questions below to focus on what really matters.

As the regular school year gets back underway in August, perhaps the question should be, “What really matters to me?” If you work in education, is the question “What matters most for my students?” Whether you are working inside or outside academia, ask yourself, “What matters most to me in order to be a better writer?” “A better administrator?” “A better teacher?” “A better researcher?” It is likely some combination of these, along with time and energy, for a satisfying personal life.

For those of you who have worked with me, you know I believe what really matters is your own vision of who you are and want to be in the world based on your values. A vision of your largest purpose based on values may even include the legacy you want to leave behind. Once you are clear on your vision, it is easy to see how your own 30,000-foot view can guide you in all areas of your life.

In her book, Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. (2018), Brené Brown sets out to answer this question: “What would it look like to combine courage, connection, and meaning with the world of work?” (2018, xvii). What an audacious question, particularly for educators. Answering this question means looking at your values and holding them fast.

My own life vision is summed up on the home page of my website, “Lighting the way forward.” This is what I strive to do for my clients, my family, my friends, and my community.

Obviously, when I strive to light the way, it looks different depending on the listener. I am not going to tell my kids what to do unless they ask me. Then I might try to shine a light by explaining how and why I made my own big decisions, like getting married or buying a house.

If a friend asks for advice, I might give actual advice if I know something about the circumstances. Though I sometimes recognize all that is really wanted is for someone to listen. Recently a friend asked if she should study Spanish before traveling to Spain. My answer, in an attempt to shine a light on the topic, was, “Learn at least enough to say please and thank you and learn more if you have time.” I believe people everywhere appreciate it when you make an effort to speak their language.

Here are 5 questions to ask yourself to decide what really matters to you as an educator:

1. How do I protect my boundaries in and out of the classroom?

Learning to say “no” is a lot easier once you have a vision statement to guide you. You can always ask yourself when someone asks you to do something extra, “Does this align with my values? Or not?” If you are being asked to take on extra work without pay that will take you away from important family time, it’s OK to say, “No.” For instance, serving on a committee to rewrite all the curriculum for your department’s major may be too much, but perhaps you can do something requiring a lesser time commitment, like serving on the faculty senate or on a library committee.

2. What are my expectations of myself as a teacher?

Deciding each class that there is one central idea you want students to get before they leave is a great strategy. Research says teaching critical thinking is more important than teaching content. So, if you are teaching literature, you may want to focus on how to do a close reading. If you are teaching math or science, the “how to” is incredibly important, allowing students to eventually solve problems themselves.

3. What are my expectations for my students? What is the accountability process?

You likely have a syllabus and a rubric for grading. Even if you must change the schedule somewhat to meet your students where they are, being 100% clear on what you expect from them is critical to a good outcome for both of you. Students new to college are in the process of becoming more responsible for themselves and for their work and learning how to focus on what really matters with new skills of self-regulation. Clarity around assignments will keep you sane. If the expectations are communicated on the syllabus, it’s easy to point to it when a student requests any sort of special treatment or claims they were not told of the expectations.

4. How do I focus and move on without getting discouraged when something goes wrong?

Focus on self-improvement without beating yourself up. Quoting again from Brown’s book Dare to Lead: “Grounded confidence is the messy process of learning and unlearning, practicing and failing, and surviving misses” (2018, p. 165). Remaining curious about your desire to learn and understand will go a long way to letting go of negative self-talk like “I’ll never get it right.” I ask my clients (and myself!) to reframe such statements as “I am learning to [_____]” as a better way to engage with curiosity.

5. How do I stop myself from feeling overwhelmed?

This is not a small question. Teachers constantly shift focus in the classroom, making on average 150 decisions in an hour, from changing the discussion when a topic or question doesn’t seem to be going anywhere to revising an assignment on the fly. Remind yourself that no one gets everything done but having an idea of what really matters can help you get more done in the time allotted to you. Juggling family, work, and school can be overwhelming but doesn’t have to be.

Ultimately, students must do the hard work of learning. The teacher can give them the skills and point them in the direction of appropriate resources but cannot do the work for them. Once you recognize this, it will free you up to take time for yourself in order to recharge. How you do this is up to you: spending time with family, reading a novel, taking a walk in your neighborhood, or walking on the beach alone.

The last suggestion is my personal favorite since I live so close to the beach. Staring out at the endless horizon really keeps things in perspective!

If you want help figuring out how to focus on what really matters to you, or you could use a Focus Coach to help you set priorities, contact Hillary for a FREE twenty-minute session.

 

Tags: , , , ,